Have you ever wished that people would just leave you alone for a bit? Yeah, us too. Unfortunately, the world hasn’t given us the space we need. In our world, there are government appointed spots for parking, doing business, and even smoking! Yet there’s not a set aside location for leaving others alone? This needs to change.
With an approved Go-Away zone, life would be much better! On those days (or every day) when you are tired of people trying to “communicate”, you could just find your nearest Go-Away zone, a magical place where everyone keeps a comfortable distance from you and doesn’t try to start an awkward conversation.
To create the official government regulations, all we had to do was find the regulations on Tow-Away zones, and tweak it a bit:
Go-Away Zones are indicated by sign text or red curb on a public street. No stopping, even temporarily, is allowed, and violators are subject to immediate removal and impound. Go-Away Zone signs may appear by themselves or in combination with other regulations, such as No-Talking or Don’t-Make-Eye-Contact.
You may have questions about this new important regulation, but fear not! We’ve created an extremely unhelpful FAQ!
Q: Is the Go-Away zone sponsored by Pepsi?
A: No, but on a completely unrelated note, you should try the new Diet Pepsi. It’s great.
Q: How will the Go-Away zone reduce crime?
A: Nobody can rob you if they can’t get near you!
Q: Can I disown my friends and family in the Go-Away zone?
A: Well… If you want to... are you ok?
Q: Does the Go-Away zone have a vegan-friendly option?
A: Well it… wait what?
So although the Go-Away zone would be wonderful, It will likely never become a reality. But if you still want one, you can get this shirt! We’re sure everyone will get the idea.
This t-shirt is soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g/m2)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
This is a Go Away Zone Violators Will Be Ignored Funny Introvert Unisex T-Shirt
USA: 1 to 2 Weeks