This funny New Kid On The Block baby bodysuit will bring smiles and giggles everywhere you and your baby go. Dress your baby to the nines with this 100% cotton one piece. It has three snap leg closure for easy changing, a comfortable envelope neckline, and a beautiful print that's bound to get the baby all happy and giggling. Makes a great gift!

• 100% ring-spun combed cotton
• Heather colors are 52% ring-spun combed cotton and 48% polyester
• Fabric weight: 3.9 oz/y² (132.2 g/m²)
• Side-seamed construction
• Envelope neckline
• Three-snap leg closure

 

Congratulations! You have brought home the newest addition to the human race. At least, we assume you have. If you’re looking at this and don’t have a baby… Well, we hope you’re shopping for a friend, or clicked on this by accident.

 

Now that you have a squirming little creature hanging out in your house, you may be wondering, “what do we do now? How do we teach this youngster how to navigate the complex chaos of our present society?” We’re glad you asked! We have spent the last 5 minutes researching the inner workings of the world in which we live, and have carefully crafted a life-changing list of the most important things to tell your child as they grow up. Our research department has assured us that, without a possible doubt, that they definitely put no effort into this list and wrote anything that came into their heads. We now present:

 

The 25 most important pieces of advice for your child

By Shane’s Brain

 

  • You can only wear your underwear on your head until you’re 4. After that, it’s just weird.

  • You can’t have cake for dinner. Only adults can do that.

  • The triangle is the strongest shape in the world. That’s why you can’t have a little brother.

  • Oh no, you won’t like pizza, it’s gross.

  • The most successful people in life have watched Spongebob Squarepants for at least 10% of their lives.

  • If you ever get swallowed by an elephant, run around and around until you get pooped out.

  • It’s important to serve others. That’s why we’re decorating the neighbors house with these eggs.

  • Be nice to others. That way you can take advantage of them when it really matters.

  • The only way to make a dog bite better is to bite the dog back.

  • Sometimes our mistakes can lead to great things. You’re a prime example of that.

  • The government is going to kidnap you, and the only way to block the tracking device inside you is to eat all the veggies you can.

  • You have to play outside. I won’t love you unless you turn out just like Tom Brady.

  • When someone says “chicken nuggets” do everything you can to stay on their good side.

  • Fortune favors the brave. But being a coward helps you survive. And luck doesn’t exist, anyway.

  • No, you can’t watch Sesame Street, it’s a bad influence. There’s way too much nudity.

  • Don’t die.

  • Always wear pants.

  • If you eat yellow snow, make sure it’s lemonade.

  • Don’t take candy from strangers. Tell me where they are, and I’ll take it for you.

  • It’s ok to be ugly, but avoid other qualities of Nancy Pelosi.

  • Don’t be afraid to get hurt. The government gives you more money if you’re disabled.

  • Only run with scissors if scissors is the name of your dog.

  • We aren’t getting you a dog. But here’s some scissors.

  • Don’t sign up for football. Sign up for something valuable, like Japanese Hibachi Chef training.

  • Nature is an important part of who we are. Go pee on that tree.



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If you make sure to give your kid these important bits of advice and guidance, they’ll flourish through adolescence and be a great, responsible adult. In the meantime, get them this onesie, show it off to your friends, and brace yourself for a long, bumpy ride.

 

New Kid On The Block Fun Baby Bodysuit

$20.99Price
  • USA: 1 to 2 Weeks