This ironic t-shirt deals in a specific form of humor. Irony. 
 
Here at Shane’s Brain, we don’t understand people with superstitious fears. Then again, we don’t talk to them very much because we’re afraid of ‘em.
 
One superstitious fear that makes no sense is vampires. Vampires are basically like really lazy people. Think about it, what kills a vampire? Wood, the sun, and garlic. So basically, the outdoors and vegetables. We might as well add hard work and exercise! You probably saw a few at Walmart today!
 
A fear of ghosts doesn’t make sense either. No one even knows what a ghost looks like! Our best modern description of a ghost is still a bedsheet with eye holes cut out! Unless you’re afraid of your bedsheet strangling you in the middle of the night, there is no reason to be afraid of ghosts.
 
Let’s fly through some more:
 
Werewolves: Your neighbor just hasn’t shaved in a while.
Witches: Just an angry old lady. Probably your other neighbor.
Goblins: Giant angry lettuce man.
Ghouls: A frightening spelling error.
BoogeyMan: Yeah, but can he do the Rumba?
Friday the 13th: As long as it’s followed by Saturday the 14th, we’re fine.
Black Cats: Just as bad as every other kind of cat.
Walking under Ladders: Really? Is this a thing?
Broken mirrors: The only thing to fear is the shattering glass. That can hurt.
Umbrellas Inside: Well, what if it rains?
 
So basically, what we’re trying to get across here is that superstitions are stupid. Why live your life like that? In one way, being superstitious is kinda bad luck, because you have the bad luck of living your life while trying to avoid all these things that are totally pointless! So live your life!
Now, you don’t have to break mirrors with an open umbrella inside while under a ladder as a black cat walks by dancing the Rumba with the BoogeyMan on Friday the 13th… Just don’t be alarmed when we do it.
 
This t-shirt is soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g/m2)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Side-seamed